Spark in the Ashes (Steel Souls MC Book 1) Read online

  “I’m sorry, man. But if it hadn’t happened then, shit would have gone down later.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  “No blow back from The Wolves yet?”

  “Nope. I can’t see Rev taking it lying down, but with him being fucking absent for so long, Hobo, their VP will be running the place, and he’s a yellow-bellied shitball. So maybe.” He shrugs and purses his lips. “Just maybe, we can concentrate on other shit for a while. I want you to keep your head up and your eyes open, yeah?”

  “Always, boss.”

  “Now get outta here. There’s a party to be had.” He nods his head in the direction of the door, and I smile.

  There’s never a bad atmosphere for long. We pull together in this club. It’s the only way to live like we do and get away with it. I clap him on the shoulder, and he nods, accepting my friendship and loyalty once again before I turn to leave. “Oh, and Ram, please try not to get anyone shot tonight.”

  “Can’t promise that.” I laugh as I leave.

  When I get back out to the bar, it’s busy. Everyone seems to have turned up while I was gone, and anxiety pumps in my chest when I see Sadie sitting where I left her but with Dev. I quicken my pace, pushing people out of my way until I’m firmly at her side. I trust Dev with my life, but not with my girl.

  “Hey,” I say, stealing her attention then forcing a kiss to her lips. If they didn’t already know, I want to make it crystal clear to everyone in this room that she’s mine. When I pull away abruptly, she looks up at me with wide eyes while trying to catch her breath.

  “Everything okay?” she asks quietly with a small smile.

  “Yep, let’s go outside.” I lift her off the barstool, ignoring Dev’s penetrating gaze. “Mo, gimme a couple of beers.”

  He doesn’t hesitate and hooks the caps off before placing them on the bar. I scoop them up between my fingers and wrap my free hand around Sadie’s waist, guiding her outside.

  The music is already loud, and the fire pit is blazing. So I take Sadie to a corner where it’s quietest, away from everyone else.

  Who am I kidding? I’m making sure she’s as far away as possible from all the men here tonight.

  “Ramsey …” she breathes out, just loud enough for me to hear.

  “Yes,” I reply, scouring the area with narrowed eyes to make sure no one comes near.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Huh?” I frown, turning to her.

  She looks up at me with amusement playing on those perfectly suckable lips. “I said.” She places her hands on my waist, stroking her thumbs back and forth. “I said, what are you doing?”

  “Just drinking beer here with my girl,” I answer casually.

  “Your girl?” She cocks her brow, and I smirk down at her, tugging her tighter to me and feeling the fire light on my skin as I always seem to do when she’s near me.

  “Yeah, my girl. Why? You wanna be someone else’s girl?” I challenge, just thinking about her wanting someone else makes me struggle to keep the jealousy from ticking in my jaw as I take a swig of my beer.

  “You don’t need to mark me like you own me,” she says quietly.

  “Yes, I do.”

  “You do, what? Own me?” She smirks and steps back out of my grasp, and this is exactly why I haven’t bothered with women in the past. Always turning shit around.

  “Don’t do that,” I warn.

  “Do what?” she responds in an innocent voice with a tilt of her head.

  “Do that thing all you women do and twist my words.”

  “I’m not like all women.”

  “Oh, I know,” I say, taking a long draw on my beer and tossing the empty bottle to the side.

  “Then stop trying to keep me away from everyone.” She wraps her hands around my waist and cranes her neck back to look up at me. “Even if they’re interested, I’m not. Plus, I think you’ve made it pretty clear that I’m taken, don’t you?”

  “Not clear enough,” I grumble.

  “Stop it,” she warns with a stern look.

  “What?” I laugh.

  “Stop acting like a child. I am not your property,”

  “Do you even know how things work around here, Sadie?” She looks around, seeing a bunch of bikers and women having a good time. But she doesn’t see what I see. “If I don’t own you, you’re fair game. If you’re not an old lady, you’re a hang-around. A willing woman. Which do you want to be?” I give her an option. An out. Holding on tight to a girl like Sadie could push her away. But letting her loose has my heart jumping out of my chest with crippling anxiety and fear that she’s going to disappear from my grasp as fast as she fell into it.

  Lia comes over with two bottles of beer in her hand, halting our conversation and preventing Sadie from giving me an answer. “Sadie.” She smiles. “So lovely to see you in happy circumstances, sweetheart.”

  “Hi, Lia.” Sadie smiles back at her warmly.

  “What’cha doing hiding over in the corner, Ram?” She smirks, taking the empty bottle from Sadie’s hand and replacing it with a full one. “Tryin’ to keep Sadie all to yourself?” She raises her brow at me in question but doesn’t wait for an answer. “Come on darlin’, let me take you to meet the other girls…”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea right now, Li—”

  “You don’t get a choice, Ramsey,” she says, pushing her finger into my chest. She turns her back to me, linking her arm with Sadie’s and marching off. Sadie looks back at me with an apologetic shrug, but she doesn’t seem to be fazed by Lia or her easily persuasive nature. I like that Lia has taken her under her wing. It makes it easier for Sadie if Lia has her back as opposed to being on it because I plan on Sadie being around a while—and a whole lot longer than that if I have my way.

  Lia is a sweetheart. Short in stature, but fierce in nature. Beautiful inside and out, and with a heart of gold. JJ is a lucky man—they’re both lucky to have found each other in the dark and to have been each other’s light over the years. She’s formidable, level-headed, and the perfect president’s old lady. She’s as loyal as the day is long, but don’t piss her off. She holds grudges and doesn’t forgive easily if you wrong her family, and we are her family. JJ, the brothers, their wives. Lia doesn’t have much time for the whores or hang-arounds and can pick out a gold-digger with just one glance. But I think she’s taken to Sadie. I hope she has.

  I watch with fascination as the circle of women gather closer for Lia to introduce Sadie to them. I wonder if she’s telling them she’s mine. It would give Sadie a degree of protection. But it doesn’t make her invincible.

  “You know, she won’t last long,” a voice breathes seductively over my shoulder.

  It’s Kimmie. My ex … if you can even call her that. She’s never really been anything to me other than a warm, willing body when I wanted it. But as with some women and their feelings, she took it to mean more. She wanted more than I had to give, and she’s made herself a fucking pain in the ass ever since.

  “Fuck off, Kimmie. Go suck a dick,” I grumble, not even turning in her direction. I don’t take my eyes off Sadie. She laughs with the other women easily and looks comfortable in their group. She looks like she’s found her rightful place among them and if Kimmie weren’t breathing down my neck, I would be bursting with pride and admiration. She fits in like she was always meant to be.

  “That’s not polite, Ram,” she whispers, reaching around my body and grabbing my junk. There’s no danger of it having any impact on me—my dick shrivels under her touch. I step forward, twist my body from her grasp and turn to face her, lazily cocking my hip and looking at her through narrowed eyes.

  “I’m not interested. I haven’t been interested in a long time. You’re just another whore, Kimmie. Your lips are as wet as the next girls.” All I want is for her to go away. Just to leave me the hell alone and move on to the next guy. The shit this girl has put me through.

  “You never complained before.” She pulls back her sho
ulders and juts out her tits, cocking her head and smacking gum around her mouth. It makes my skin crawl to think that I ever went there with her. If I think too much about where I’ve been before now, I’d have to bleach my skin to get clean, and that’s exactly why I don’t think. Just keep pushing forward. No looking back. No thinking.

  “Go wrap your mutated lips around one of the other guy’s dicks. I ain’t interested, Kimmie.”

  “You should be.” She swishes her hips and steps into me, placing one hand on my chest and one on my cheek. I shoot a glance over to Sadie, worried that she might be watching. I don’t want her to see this. But she’s laughing with the girls and not taking any notice of what’s going on over here. I grab Kimmie’s wrist and wrench it away from my face. She squeals as her face contorts with pain from my vice-like grip, and the angle I’m forcing her away from me.

  “I told you,” I grate out the words in her face. “I’m not fucking interested.”

  She claws at my chest with her free hand, digging her nails into my skin through the fabric of my shirt. Our eyes are locked in a battle of determination and fire. I don’t know if she’s trying to show me that she’s strong enough to be mine, that she’s fierce enough to survive this life, or if she really believes we have something good together. Either way, she’s wrong. We were good together between the sheets. But that’s where the connection stops. Deep down she knows it. When she looks at me, she doesn’t see who I am. She doesn’t see the person behind the cut. She sees power, protection, and status. I tighten my grip, pushing her arm further away, watching the discomfort as her body tightens.

  “What’s going on over here?” JJ asks, holding his hand up between us.

  “Nothing,” I spit, throwing her wrist from my grasp. She tucks her arm into her body, looking like a hurt, meek little woman. It’s all an act—she’s not innocent, not by a long shot. She wouldn’t have hung around here for so long if she was.

  “Kimmie?” JJ looks to her. “Is there a problem?”

  “No, JJ,” she casts her eyes downward.

  “Then fuck off,” JJ snaps abruptly. Kimmie’s jaw drops open, and I struggle to contain my laughter. JJ doesn’t speak to women like this usually. He’s a charmer. Smooth, rugged and totally has a way with the ladies. So to see him dismiss Kimmie like that is fucking funny.

  She scowls before scurrying off without even another word. She would have been a fucking moron to talk back to JJ, but I wouldn’t have put it past her.

  “What’s her problem?” he asks.

  I shrug. “Fuck knows. Doesn’t like being told she can’t have something she wants, I guess.”

  “You used to like her,” he remarks.

  “I liked her body. But now I don’t. Since when are you interested in who I fuck and who I don’t?” I know the answer to this. It’s since Sadie came on the scene.

  “I’m only interested because you’ve changed. That girl over there,” he tips his bottleneck in the direction of the girls. “She doesn’t realize it yet, but she’s done something to you.”

  “Let’s not do this again, now, here …” I sigh with frustration, throwing my head back.

  “Ram.” He places his hand on my shoulder. “You’re like a son to me. I’m only looking out for you. As long as you keep your head in the game, I’m cool with whoever you decide to spend your time with. Just don’t forget, if you choose to have a relationship with her or any other woman, you have to bring her into your world, our world. Choose wisely. It takes someone formidable to be able to stand by her man through biker thick and thin.”

  “Someone like Lia?” I ask.

  “Yeah.” He nods, glancing in her direction. “Someone like Lia.” He watches her for a moment, with total admiration and love shining in his usually cold gray eyes. He’s never been shy about his love for Lia, and despite the life we live, he has a real big heart, he just likes to portray that it’s black. “Come on, let’s go get fucking wasted.” He pulls me in for a hug, clapping his great big hands on my back with a chuckle.

  All is right in our world.

  For now.

  Chapter 17

  The group of girls are awesome. I find it hard to call them old ladies as that conjures up an image of crotchety old women, and these ladies are gorgeous, young, and full of life. I never had a group of friends when I was growing up, never fitted into any of the cliques at school, never found friends that I wanted to spend much time with. I guess I distanced myself. I built a wall because I didn’t want to let anyone in, and it’s only since I met Ram, that I’ve begun to see what I’ve missed out on. Yes, opening yourself to friendship isn’t without risks, I’m sure. But I can see from spending even a short amount of time with Lia and the biker girls, that the tightness of this group and the rewards that come from having so many people close to you to share even the most mundane things in life with, is beneficial in ways I never knew before now. We laugh, and joke, tease each other and even hug. I mean, girls hugging girls, just because they’re openly affectionate with each other, and because they’re friends. No, not friends, family.

  “How’s my girl doing?” JJ wraps his arm around Lia’s shoulders and squeezes her tightly to him. She smiles up at him as though he’s given her the world and it makes me smile to see such a public display from such a tough biker.

  “I’m good,” she answers. “You need another beer?” she asks, wriggling from his grasp but taking his free hand in hers.

  “Yeah, baby.” He winks and drops his head to take her lips prisoner with his. The girls all whistle as he kisses her for what would be deemed longer than publically acceptable. But this isn’t public, it’s family, and these aren’t your run of the mill people. They’re a phenomenal example of how you can live together as a family when you’re not related. Of how you can pull together in tough times, and boy I’m sure there has been a truckload of tough times with volatile, passionate souls like there are here. But through it all, despite the massive threat hanging over their heads and the many, many skeletons they have hanging in their closets, tonight they’re together, and they’re smiling.

  “Hey,” Ram says softly, tucking his hand into the curve of my waist.

  “Hey.” I look up at him, and he holds my gaze with his deep, soulful eyes, smiling seductively down at me and stoking the fire in my belly that he ignited a few days ago. A fire I never knew could exist. “Did you want me to get you another beer?” I ask, following Lia’s lead. Not knowing if it is what’s expected of me, but either way, loving the thought of taking care of him.

  “No, darlin’.” He smirks and dips his head into my shoulder, kissing the curve of my neck, before brushing my earlobe with his lips and whispering. “I want you, naked, underneath me.”

  I gasp at his direct words, and he chuckles. I blush and look up, but the girls that were around us have disappeared. “I—” I open my mouth to speak and close it again several times. Plenty of men have whispered in my ear. Plenty of men have talked dirty to me, whispered sweet nothings, promised things they never intended to deliver, or plain just taken what they wanted. But this, his words, the passion in his breath and the way it caresses my skin as he patiently waits for my response, is almost more than I can take.

  I want him. More than I’ve ever wanted anyone.

  I want to tell him that he can take me. I’m his. But I don’t know how to say the words and my past experiences stop me from verbally giving myself so freely, or opening myself up so easily, even though I’m desperate to push past that—for this moment with Ramsey as much as for myself. “Okay,” I manage to say quietly. He tosses his bottle on the ground and turns me toward him before placing both hands on my cheeks, watching my eyes for the words I can’t say. He lowers his lips to mine, slowly, so fucking slowly that it feels torturous, and when his lips finally touch mine, it’s like fireworks shooting off in all directions through my body. My knees weaken, my core clenches, and all the hairs on my skin stand on end as though I’ve been electrified. I groan into his mouth a
s he strokes my tongue with his. Grabbing his ass, I pull him closer, tighter to me, feeling his erection press against me, fighting to be free from the restraint of his jeans.

  This kiss feels like nothing I’ve ever experienced before. His lips against mine make me feel like it’s the first time I’ve ever been kissed. The kind of kiss I’ve always dreamt of but never thought I’d be lucky enough to have. His body, pressed tightly to me, feels like it’s made to fit. He pulls back, drawing a breath and looking at me before resting his forehead against mine. “Come on,” he says, giving me a hard, chaste kiss, and taking my hand.

  He leads me through the crowds of people, some calling his name as we go, but he ignores them all as though they’re not there and we are all that matters. I’ve never been the center of anyone’s universe before now, but Ramsey kissed me as though I was his life’s breath, as though I was all he needed at that moment to survive.

  I couldn’t let myself think that he might be all I need to live.

  He walks fast, and I’m barely able to keep up with him as we march through the doors into the bar. Once we’re past the main sea of leather and bikers, he scoops me up into his arms without warning. I squeal as I wrap my arms around his neck, and for a moment, he slows his pace to kiss me again, more passionate than desperate this time, getting lost in a bubble that we’ve created for ourselves away from the crowds and noise outside. He loses his sense of direction and bumps into a wall, making him break away and smile against my lips. As he turns his back to the door and reaches around to turn the handle to let us in, a door opens opposite. I flick my head around to see a shirtless Ruck leaning against the door jamb. He has a tumbler in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

  “Ah, my big Bro,” he slurs. His eyes are red and wide, and he takes several small sniffs and wriggles his nose. I notice a trace of white powder around his nostrils. Ruck is Ramsey’s younger brother?