Fire in the Stars (Steel Souls MC Book 2) Read online

  “Don’t be gentle with me,” she whispers, whimpering as I grind into her slowly.

  “Never leave me again,” I whisper against her lips as I begin to rock my hips back and forth.

  “No,” she whispers back. “Never again, Ram.”

  The way she pants when she says my name has me all kinds of crazy. I thrust into her harder, pushing her limits and showing her my pain. The headboard bangs against the wall and my body relentlessly slams into hers, over and over until we’re clawing at each other’s skin and our climaxes rage through both of us with a scream and a roar.

  I rest my forehead against hers as I fight for breath and my body jerks as we come back down to earth. I kiss her nose, her cheeks, and finally her lips, placing contrasting gentle kisses against her bruised mouth where we kissed so fiercely before.

  “Are you okay?” I ask, and she nods with a sated smile.

  I climb off her carefully and lay by her side. She curls in to face me, and I hold her hand to my lips. “I thought you were gone for good,” I whisper, placing soft kisses up and down her fingers.

  “I’m not going anywhere, Ramsey,” she answers, placing her hand on my chest. My heartbeat settles into an even rhythm—a settled beat knowing that she’s safe in my arms. My brother is safe at HQ, and at least for now, The Wolves have lost a lot of their men, and their Prez is nowhere to be found.

  Although the war between us might not be over, the threat is certainly lowered.

  Chapter 10

  I’d hoped Vaughn was wrong. I wanted him to be wrong in every way possible. But his words had solidified my rampant thoughts and insecurities, and he made me believe that Ramsey really didn’t want me.

  I had caused trouble. I should have fucking listened, and because of my stubbornness, I put myself and Ruck in danger, and consequently, made an awful situation so much worse. I wouldn’t have blamed Ramsey for hating me. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he never wanted to see me again. But seeing his face, feeling his body, knowing he’s trying to save me from myself, makes me realize that I’m not dreaming up the connection. I’m not imagining the pull between us—the call of our souls.

  “Who was the unlucky guy?” Ramsey asks as he twirls my hair around his finger mindlessly. When I’m wrapped up in Ramsey’s hard, warm body, it is easy to forget that we’re in a dingy motel room. But being anywhere with Ramsey is good with me.

  I prop myself up on my elbow and stroke his chest with my index finger. “The man in the alley?”

  He frowns. “Is there more than that one guy?”

  I laugh. “No, just the one.” I shrug. “He’s a known asshole.”

  “Sadie.” Ramsey slips out from underneath me and mirrors my position so we’re facing each other. “Donny Carden.” He pauses, and my heart beats faster, still feeling conflicted about Donny Carden and the person he’s turned me into. “Was he the first man you killed?”

  I swallow loudly, and my senses swim with recollection. I can still see him, still smell his filthy blood. “Yes,” I whisper.

  “Why? What made you choose him? What made you put your life on the line for a man like him? Having blood on your hands is a burden, babe. It could have ended so differently. You could have been locked up for the rest of your life. Prison is not a walk in the park. Would that have been worth it for one asshole?”

  “Yes,” I answer without hesitation, meeting his concerned gaze. “Because I killed him, I’ve saved countless small girls from a lifetime of physical and emotional pain. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.” I sit up, tucking my knees into my chest and resting my chin on them, staring at the surprisingly clean white sheets and the heavily pressed line running down the middle.

  “Sadie.” He sighs, placing a hand on my shoulder. I shrug it away, retreating into my head, partly hating myself for the person I’ve become.

  A killer.

  A ruthless, unapologetic killer.

  I can’t wash the blood from my hands, and I wouldn’t want to. I don’t hate the fact that I’ve killed. I’m terrified because I’ve enjoyed it. I’ve taken Donny Carden’s life, and one after that, too. I don’t regret it. I would do it all over again because I know I’ve prevented more poor girls having to live in hell. Having to see their abuser’s faces every time they close their eyes and smell their sweaty, forceful bodies even though they’re not near.

  “I don’t like what I’ve become, Ramsey. I’m not proud of myself. But I wouldn’t hesitate to do it again. In fact, I hope I do get the chance.” The hatred I feel for every single rapist, every pedophile, every abuser that walks around like it’s their right to take what they want, has driven me to this. It stokes a fire in my belly.

  My head is screwed up. It has been since the night I was raped and left without the two people that were the most important people in the world to me. I can’t save myself. I’m too far gone. But I can, and I will save others.

  “What’s driving you, Raven?” he asks softly, brushing the hair from my face. “Are you living out a personal vendetta?” He swallows loudly, his body becoming tense beside me as if he fears my answer.

  “Yes,” I reply simply, straightening my back and flicking my head around to meet his gaze.

  He backs up, climbing off the bed and looking down at me with narrowed eyes and flared nostrils. “Tell me you weren’t—”

  “Raped as a child?” I snap. Anger, frustration, and years of suppressed emotion bolts through me. Day upon day of keeping the truth to myself, not speaking it aloud, has made me bitter and twisted, and most of all, so full of the desire for revenge that I can’t see anything else. But now Ramsey can see. I don’t have to use words to confirm it—he can see by the look in my eyes and the way my body shakes with pain and brokenness at just the thought of that moment in my life.

  Ramsey’s jaw clenches, his eyes harden, and his shoulders widen. “Who?” he demands harshly through barely controlled breaths and gritted teeth.

  I stand up off the bed, facing Ramsey on the opposite side. “The man who killed my mom and brother,” I tell him, raising my chin, and fighting the emotion that pushes up through my chest every time I think of them and that night. “He didn’t just take everyone that was dear to me—he also took my innocence. He took who I was. Who I was meant to be. He may as well have killed me.” My lip quivers and Ramsey jumps across the bed and folds me tightly in his arms.

  His body trembles with rage, and he takes my face in his hands. “Do you know who it was?” he asks, and I shake my head sadly as tears sneak from the corners of my eyes. He wipes them away with his thumbs, then presses my head gently into his chest, holding me closely, protectively. “We’ll find him. I’ll find him.”

  “I wouldn’t even know where to start, I—” I’ve tried to find out as much as I could about that night, but there were no clues. No leads. The case was closed due to lack of evidence, and there were no records, no photographs, and no DNA samples. It was like my mom and brother never even existed.

  “I’ll sort it.”

  “But, how?” I plead.

  Determination is set hard in his eyes. Tiredness, worry, and burden contributing largely to the lines on his face. Lines that speak of a hard life, of many tough times and heavy responsibilities. “I promise that whoever did this to you will not go unpunished.” He presses his lips to my forehead.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you…about the fight being dangerous.”

  He pulls away, rubbing his forehead with his thumb and forefinger. “You fuckin’ women never do as you’re goddamn told.” He grabs up his jeans and starts to tug them on, and I feel like he’s just given me whiplash by going from the most caring, tender moment to the gaping distance and icy atmosphere between us.

  “You’re mad at me,” I state. Maybe I deserve it, I know. I’ve beaten myself up over it ever since it happened.

  “Yes, I’m fuckin’ mad at you.” He glances at me then snaps his gaze away. “You could have gotten yourself killed.”

  “I
know,” I say, nodding softly. “I’m sorry.” He continues getting dressed, and I start to feel extremely vulnerable standing here, naked of his touch, stripped bare of my emotion. “Your brother, Ruck…” I start, hoping he will continue. I can still hear the panic in his voice when he told me to run. I recall the van taking him away. “The Wolves.”

  “They fucked him up. But we’ve got him back, and he’s not dead,” he informs me in a very matter-of-fact tone.

  “They what? What did they do to him?” I ask desperately. Then my voice grows quiet. “He saved me.”

  “If you hadn’t been there in the first place, you wouldn’t have needed saving,” he snaps, glaring hard at me.

  “I said I’m sorry.” I scoop my jeans off the floor, flicking them out between us and straightening out the legs. “And I mean it. But I can’t change what happened.” I shrug sadly. “I made a mistake, Ram. But if you’re going to throw it back in my face every time it’s mentioned, then you can take me back to San Francisco.”

  “You’re not going back,” he barks at me.

  “Then tell me what the fuck happened to Ruck and Dev, and stop blaming me for something that I can’t change!” I yell out of frustration, tugging my clothes on and trying to control the breaths heaving in my chest.

  “You don’t wanna know what happened…”

  “Yeah, you’re right. I don’t wanna know. Because, of course, that’s why I asked.” I roll my eyes. “Look, Ramsey.” I stand with my hands on my hips because if I don’t, I’ll be picking up the nearest object and tossing it at his head. “If we’re gonna do this: me, you, us…You’ve gotta stop treating me like all the whores that have come and gone from your life so far, and start treating me like an equal. I’m not a shrinking violet. I won’t cower to you or any of your biker brothers, and I won’t be treated like a fucking fool.” He stops what he’s doing, raising his brows at my outburst, but doesn’t say a word. “Tell me what happened to Ruck,” I demand, jerking my chin up. “Please.”

  “The Wolves took him.” He glances away, readying himself to recall what his brother has been through. “They drugged him out of his goddamn mind, which, probably is a godsend, I suppose. Then they nailed him to a fucking cross and carved a W into his chest. Is that what you wanted to hear?”

  “I’m sorry,” I say quietly. “I thought it was them. He told me to run, he…saved me from The Wolves.”

  “But you were arrested?” he asks, closing the distance between us, but not yet touching me.

  I nod. “The Wolves screeched off when the SWAT truck came screaming around the corner. I couldn’t help him, Ram. I would’ve helped him if I could.”

  “I know.” He shakes his head and looks away.

  “I should never have gone there. I am sorry, Ramsey,” I offer, stepping closer to him.

  “I’m pissed at you, Sadie,” he grumbles, chewing the inside of his cheek.

  “I know you are. I’m pissed at me too.” I sigh. “But it’s done. We can’t go back. If we could, lots of things would be different. And you need to decide how long you’re gonna be pissed at me because I’m not gonna ride back with you to Reno if you’re gonna give me the silent treatment or keep throwing it back in my face. I’m choosing you, Ram.” He looks up at me, his eyes softening, but still full of worry.

  “I can’t promise life will be easy with me back in Reno.” He sighs.

  “I wouldn’t want you to.”

  “Your stepdad’s not gonna like it…”

  “He’s not my stepdad. Besides, I’m a grown woman. I make my own choices.” I slide my hands around his waist and press my body against his. He resists for a moment, and I hold him just a little bit tighter.

  “Yes.” He laughs, wrapping his arms around me protectively and resting his head on mine. “You certainly do.”

  Chapter 11

  She was coming back with me whether she wanted to or not. I had made that decision before I’d even found her again. I’d lost her once, and despite it being for a really short amount of time, I hated the hollow feeling it left me with.

  Then she told me that she was raped.

  Fuck.

  I’d never wanted to kill someone as much as I do the person who did that to her.

  What sick fucking individual would do that to a child? An innocent little girl?

  But as soon as I ask myself this question, I already answer it. I’ve come across so many depraved people in my lifetime, copious amounts of sick fuckers that need putting down like the filthy fucking dogs they are. Sadie’s right. She is doing the world a favor. But I hate that it eats her up inside, and taints that kind, pure heart that she once had. I see it in her. I see the woman she is behind the pain. I feel the passion she holds when she touches me. I know the woman she could become when she looks deep into my eyes and strokes my soul. If she could set her past free and make some kind of peace with her demons.

  We ride away from the motel feeling closer than ever, and stronger for being by each other’s sides. Despite taking out pretty much half of The Wolves main crew, I’m not certain that the threat has passed. Their VP, Hobo, is dead, along with the three men that we found at the warehouse with Ruck. They’ve paid for what they did to him with their lives, although it was far too short and sweet for my liking. Ruck’s injuries were payback for what we did to Spice and Dago, and I’ll carry that burden until the day I die. But The Wolves have lost far more. They’ve lost lives, valuable brothers in their club, and I’m not sure they can come back from it. Killing four of their men and torturing two others hasn’t driven their President out of his hole, though, and that confuses me more than anything. He should be up front and center, fighting for his men. He should be driving retribution home with the ferocity of a thousand hungry lions. But he hasn’t so much as sent a message or shown his face—even to his crew. We have eyes on their place. We have intel everywhere they were known to frequent. But still, nothing. I wonder if maybe Rev is dead. Maybe something happened within their brotherhood, and they’ve been trying to keep it under wraps. Whatever it is, everyone is keeping tight-lipped, well, those that are left, that is.

  I park the bike in the yard and wait for Sadie to climb off before following suit. She swallows loudly as she glances over to the HQ building and back to me.

  “Do they all hate me?” she asks, looking sad and dejected.

  “No.” I frown, unclipping my helmet from her head. “Look, JJ wants to see that you’re okay. I doubt there will be many guys in the bar. I would imagine they’ll all be at home with their old ladies,” I tell her, stroking her cheekbone with my thumb.

  “Is Ruck here?” she asks quietly.

  “Yes, Lia and JJ stayed here to watch him while I was gone. Lia used to be a nurse, so she knows what she’s doing.”

  “I never knew that about her.”

  “There is lots you don’t know, Raven,” I say, wondering how the hell we are going to break the biggest fucking news of all to her. “But we have all the time in the world.”

  I take her hand and lead her into the bar. Her grip gets tighter as we walk, but I hold her securely and stroke my thumb across the back of her hand for reassurance. I know none of the guys blame her for what happened, but I’m protective of her, and I won’t let anyone make her feel it was her fault or that she’s not welcome.

  Dingo is seated at the bar, and Ziggy is pouring them both shots as we walk in.

  “You deadbeats got nowhere better to be?” I laugh, tucking Sadie in close to me as we walk.

  “JJ kicked out the hang-arounds, so we’re drinking the bar dry.” Dingo raises a shot glass that’s full to the brim before downing it in one. He doesn’t even flinch as the liquid slips down his throat and knowing Dingo, it probably didn’t even touch the sides.

  “Your girl alright?” He nods to Sadie through narrowed eyes. I feel her take a breath as she steps out from being partially obscured by my body.

  “His girl is fine. Thanks,” she answers, swishing her hair over her shoulder
.

  Dingo whistles through his teeth and holds up another shot but offers it to Sadie this time.

  “She’s good, thanks.” I hold my hand up to push the shot glass away.

  “She’ll decide for herself, thank you,” Sadie snaps as she pulls her hand from mine and takes the shot from Dingo. He nods at her with a smirk, and I clench my jaw, trying not to smack that look right off his ugly face. But my annoyance doesn’t last long when I look to Sadie and see her fighting to keep the shot down, her eyes watering with the burn and her face red with heat and concentration.

  “Are you okay, sweetheart?” I ask softly, trying to suppress my laughter as I rub her back gently.

  “Yes,” she snaps, coughing as she pushes my hand away.

  “Water for the lady please, Ziggy, and I’ll have a double Jack.”

  He pours my drink and places it next to the water glass on the bar, before taking a towel and wiping around the bar top. “You trying to give Dev a run for his money?” Dingo asks.

  “Yeah, man,” Ziggy replies. “He’ll have me shitting my own teeth if this place is a mess when he comes back, but there’s a small part of me that wants to do it better than him.” He laughs quietly. Joking around is how they get by here, and the boys are clearly finding it difficult without Dev and Ruck around the place.

  “Where’s Tex?” I ask.

  “Gone home,” Dingo replies sharply.

  “Home?” I slide onto a barstool next to him and pat my thigh for Sadie to come and sit. She takes my indication as an offer instead of an order, happily settling her legs on either side of my thigh, and I place one hand securely on her waist. “Tex never goes home. This is his home.”

  “Yeah, well, as you can see, it’s pretty damn quiet around here. Just me, Ziggy and the fucking mice.”

  “What about JJ and Lia?” I take a mouthful of Jack and swill it around my mouth, absorbing the burn and swallowing slowly. I’ve been so intent on staying alert these last few days that I’ve refused to drink. But now, with everyone accounted for, I can breathe, if only for a short while.